There are two versions of you: the normal one, and the one that appears the second an attractive person learns your name. That second version has its own texting rules, its own laugh, and occasionally its own escape routes. I have watched this happen to the smoothest people I know, so you are in loving company.
Be truthful with me here — not aspirational, truthful. Seven scenarios, four choices each, and at the end you get your official crush behavior profile. I promise to be gentle. Mostly.
1/7
They text you first. What happens on your end?
2/7
You spot them across the room at a party. Go.
3/7
How much of your search history do they occupy?
4/7
They compliment your outfit. Your brain does what?
5/7
Your friends bring your crush up in conversation. React.
6/7
It's 11pm and they posted a photo. What's your move?
7/7
Final round, sweetheart: they ask if you're free this weekend. You…
